An Open Letter to a Divorced Covenant-Keeper

I met another one last week: someone who has become convinced that God wants him to be committed to his covenant partner, even though they are divorced. I applaud him and those like him because this commitment requires strength despite much opposition and perseverance despite little support. There is no guarantee that someone else will have a change of heart, but there is a promise from God that He will honor those who honor Him. (The letter below was worded to a man, but its message applies equally to women who are keeping their covenant vows even when their husbands are not.)

I salute you! Your heart for reconciliation reveals the very heart of God, and your faithfulness to covenant reflects the faithfulness of God, which “reaches to the skies.” We will break our loyalty to our covenant partners the day God breaks His loyalty to us, His covenant partners.

I commend you for your commitment, even though it means battling upstream against the culture and against spiritual forces. Instead of harming you, this struggle will instead strengthen you into the greatness for which you were created.

When a man makes a covenant vow to a woman, he is bound before God to that commitment until death breaks the bond. Even if his covenant partner loses heart, he can remain committed to her, regardless of what she does, and remain committed to peace. Without pushing, pulling, or demanding, he can stand with his feet planted in unshakable, unmovable commitment to the partner. Her reactions do not change his commitment. The covenant-keeping husband, even when divorced, can be a rock of commitment to his covenant partner. He must be willing to die for her and to die daily; he must be willing to die misunderstood, unappreciated, and mistreated. The goal–the only goal–is to love well.

God will fully satisfy and delight you. He may use your covenant partner to do that, or He may not. It doesn’t matter how He does it; He will do it. He will do it so that you know that He is the great Treasure; anything else would be deception and disappointment. He knows how to love you, and He knows how to love you well.

Cheering for you,


2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to a Divorced Covenant-Keeper

  1. Tami,

    Thank you for sharing that “balm.” I certainly needed such a reminder from Gilead.
    Standing firm in the full armor is what we must do when waging war on our ever threatened families, spouses, and marriages.

    Thank you for delivering the balm. My wounds are be nurtured.

    Warrior Child


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